Clueless Gamer: Conan Reviews “WWE 2K14″

Thief Review Thread

Mon, 24 Feb 2014 06:05:58 -0800


Platforms: Microsoft Windows, PlayStation 3, PlayStation 4, Xbox 360, Xbox One

Release Date: NA February 25, 2014 AU February 27, 2014 EU February 28, 2014

CVG - 8

But we were hooked, regardless, not for the story, but for the mechanics of stealth and exploration. Finding routes through the levels peaceably and intact is a genuine challenge on the normal 'Thief' difficulty - and with the aids turned off, it gets much, much harder. Add in the custom difficulty modes, which allow you to recreate old Thief - indeed, which allow you to make a much harder game than any Thief - and it's an enjoyable, challenging customisable sandbox. It's just sad that the main story and The City itself don't match up to the toolset Eidos Montreal has created.

Game Informer - 8

If you’re content to save your game every couple minutes and enjoy a slower-paced stealth game, then Thief rewards you with plenty of moments so tense you might catch yourself holding your breath. Eidos-Montreal may have adhered too closely to the series’ roots, resulting in a reboot that suffers from classic problems like simplistic combat and trial-and-error sneaking missions. However, locked behind this old-school game design is a gem that stealth fans should eye up for their collection.

Joystiq - 4/5

Thief is best when it sticks to the involving, slow-paced stealth that made its ancestor such a tense affair. In its subtle moments, Eidos Montreal gives your creeping a sense of closeness and texture, in a game where you almost always have your nose pressed against things. Much like Garrett, Thief succeeds while quiet, fingers reaching out and almost – almost – touching an irresistible spread of glittering prizes.

Destructoid - 7.5/10

Thief is a great escape for those of you who yearn for more stealth experiences, but it doesn't really offer up anything exciting. The story and characters are somewhat forgettable, most of the missions are straight-forward, and the locales tend to blend together after a while. Having said that, there's a lot of potential here if you dig deep down into the game's ingenious difficulty sliders and challenge modes. In that sense, Thief succeeds as a bold stealth game, despite its bruises.

IGN - 6.8

Thief has some strong stealth mechanics going for it, and getting away unseen with a big haul of loot can be an enormous challenge, but doesn’t always put that to good use. Between the hit-or-miss missions is an extremely annoying city hub map and a weak story full of bland characters, and Garrett himself isn’t as sure-footed as a master thief ought to be. Ignoring the story and cherrypicking the best side missions is the best way to approach it.

Gamespot - 6

As Thief seesawed up and down, my enjoyment of it followed suit. Each time I thought I might fall in love, the game doused my passions with a new annoyance. There was the bug that had me swimming in place on top of some boards I'd leapt to. (Thank goodness for reloadable checkpoints!) There were the times I scratched my head wondering why I couldn't take cover behind one crate but could behind an identical one. (The rules of locomotion are never absolutely clear.) But then the love affair was rekindled the moment I pinched out a candle's flame and yanked a dowager's earrings from her lobes unnoticed. (Unrealistic, certainly, but joyful nonetheless.) Whether you are new to the series or cut your teeth on Thief's particular brand of stealth when it was still novel, I'd wager your feelings will waver as often as mine did. The Thief-franchise-inspired Dishonored waves the stealth flag far more confidently than this reboot does. Garrett is not yet on his way out, but he's been shown the door.

Eurogamer - 6/10

At times the game suffers from a lack of ambition, placing far too much importance on the tiresome looting of endless cupboards and dressers in the vain hope that this will be enough to propel you forwards. In other places, Thief suffers from too much ambition, unable to draw its systems into a cohesive whole. Whether the game simply needed more time or entirely different foundations is never quite clear. Either way, it's a game that adds up to less than the sum of its parts. Undeniably, Thief suffers greatly by comparison to Dishonored - its more coherent, more thoughtfully and successfully designed cousin, in whose shadow Garrett and his game now cringe.

Polygon - 6

There are elements of a better game in Thief — maybe even a great one. I enjoyed Garrett's adventure when it was about stealing, when it was about getting into a structure creatively and sneaking away, about accumulating and spending loot. But I wanted much more of that breaking and entering than it was willing to give me. Thief never quite pulls it together. Instead, too often, I felt like a mouse in a narrow hallway filled with cats.


For the vast majority of the time, I had so much fun. It didn’t need to match its predecessors to achieve that. I have spent the last three days crouched in shadows, terrified of light, giggling with glee as I evade the gazes of patrolling enemies (some of whom even deliver a proper Thiefy “Doo be doo be doo”!), and stuffing every twinkly candlestick and golden pair of scissors I could find into my trousers.

Some will be furious about one aspect or other, and they will be loud about it on the internet. The context sensitive jump/climb/swoop button is going to be the launch pad that fires a lot of people out of the game in abject fury. But the truth is, I’ve had a fantastic time playing it. For where it falls short, it far more often had me crouched in a shadow, heart racing, waiting for the perfect moment to dart past a guard’s routine. It may be the fourth best Thief game, but it’s a damned fine game in its own rights.

PCGamer - 79

GameTrailers - 7.5

OXM - 7

OPM - 7

Rev3games - 3/5

Kotaku - No

WTF Is... - Thief ?

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Godzilla (2014) Angry Movie Review

Avoiding Bioshock Infinite Spoilers? Don't read the Kotaku review.

Tue, 26 Mar 2013 06:43:10 -0700

So I just got Infinite and have played few the first couple areas. This morning I was glancing at reviews, seeing what other people thought and I stumbled across something in the Kotaku review that made me very unhappy and feel like a big reveal in the game was ruined. There isn't any sort of spoiler warning attached to the review either which kinda pissed me off. Sooooo, if you don't want to have any important plot details ruined: Don't read the kotaku review. The offending sentence is below for anyone interested so SPOILER FUCKING WARNING

Edit: Fuck, this blew up. I'm sorry to the people who opened it in RES and saw the spoiler anyway. I don't know how to fix that so I'm just deleting it, if you want to know just go to kotaku (don't) and read the review.

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Infamous: Second Son Review! Adam Sessler Reviews

Dragon Age 2 Conspiracy - Highest rated Metacritic review by Bioware employee (with zero disclosure)

Mon, 14 Mar 2011 11:06:00 -0700

First post ever, but I think you'll find this interesting...

Checked out Metacritic for Dragon Age 2 reviews (after hearing about all the changes from Origins, was a bit skeptical). After seeing it got a generally favorable score, I checked out the user reviews, since they usually offer a more accurate portrayal of how a game actually plays.

Right off the bat, I notice there's with the top user review (by 'Avanost'). It reads almost like a press release. I do not trust it:

"The immersion and combat of this game are unmatched! A truly moving and fun epic. Anything negative you'll see about this game is an overreaction of personal preference. For what it is, it is flawlessly executed and endlessly entertaining" (emphasis added).

Sketchy to say the least.

So I check Avanost's Metacritic profile ( - cache), and, whaddya know, he’s only ever written one review. On Dragon Age 2.

So I Google ‘Avanost’, because I’m starting to not trust this motherfucker. And a Plurk (WTF is Plurk) profile shows up (, revealing a name.

So I Google the name, all the while cautioning myself that this could be a completely different Avanost, and not to jump to conclusions, and WHAT THE FUCK HE’S AN ENGINEER AT BIOWARE. (Linkedin profile)

I have to laugh, because this really borders on farce.

Despite reeking of impropriety (and the fact there has to be a rule against doing this in the Bioware employee handbook), ole Avanost has no problem writing a review with zero disclosure of his industry ties, as long as you pick up a copy of the “flawless” Dragon Age 2 at your nearest retailer.

(Disclosure: Sensationalist title to garner interest.)

EDIT 1: This is a matter of ethics and integrity. A consumer requires objective information in order to make an informed decision about purchasing a product. If the line between editorial article and product review is skewed, then the consumer is being deceived at the cost of their eventual trust and loyalty to the company responsible. This is why disclosure of industry ties is necessary to avoid even the appearance of impropriety.

EDIT 2: For those of you frothing at the mouth in the comments about how anyone who doesn't like Dragon Age 2 is retarded (including me), take a deep breath and relax: I like the game. I was checking out the reviews because I wanted to read what other people thought of it (I've since borrowed it from a friend; piracy at its finest). That does not mean I wanted to read reviews written by Bioware employees cloaked as genuine. That is not okay, under any circumstances, for any employee, of any company. (And for those saying it might not be the same guy...yes, I'm sure this is all one big coincidence. He just happens to respond to, and simultaneously dismiss, the most prevalent criticisms of Dragon Age 2 in one fell swoop.)

EDIT 3: So they're going into damage control mode, and the review has been deleted. (Cache). Thanks to SnakeLinkSonic: a breakdown of my 'investigation'.

EDIT 4: Okay, so now 4chan is just bombarding Metacritic with fake reviews again, so let's pretend I didn't compromise my integrity by referencing them earlier. (Also, TIL about 'astroturfing'.) If anyone finds another verifiable fake review from Bioware, feel free to post it.

EDIT 5: Russian Bioware forum. (Original.) - This is not an official site; apologies.

EDIT 6: Story picked up by CapsuleComputers, GamerTell, Pubvo, VividGamer, Nexus404, PixelApocolypse, TechSpotlight, VGChartz and Thumb-Culture (where my attempt at investigative journalism is referred to as "slightly stalkerish". Thanks to everyone sending me links, tough to keep up.

EDIT 7: Gamepro, Escapist, Kotaku (EA's Senior Public Relations Mananger responds).

EDIT 8: EA's response: "Of course" we did it, "that's how it works." Apparently their public relations manager is unable to grasp the distinction between voting for industry accolades (analogous to the Oscars or Grammy's), and manipulating review scores to influence consumer purchasing decisions (analogous to the example below from the FTC guide). So your fears have been realized. This is company policy at EA/Bioware, and further, they're not ashamed in the least. (Note the amount of downvotes this post has received since the story broke on Kotaku; another harmless coincidence from your friends at EA/Bioware.)

EDIT 9: Related thread.

EDIT 10: According to Escapist, Dragon Age Project Manager Benoit Houle is LupoTheButcher. Metacritic review, Twitter.

FTC Guide Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising: "§ 255.5. Example 8: An online message board designated for discussions of new music download technology is frequented by MP3 player enthusiasts. They exchange information about new products, utilities, and the functionality of numerous playback devices.

Unbeknownst to the message board community, an employee of a leading playback device manufacturer has been posting messages on the discussion board promoting the manufacturer’s product.

Knowledge of this poster’s employment likely would affect the weight or credibility of her endorsement. Therefore, the poster should clearly and conspicuously disclose her relationship to the manufacturer to members and readers of the message board" (emphasis added).

Twitter search.


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Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Review (Part 1 of 7)

Why is it that The Verge complains about the lack of tablet apps on the Play Store on almost every Android tablet they review yet their own app only works in portrait orientation and displays a phone interface on all tablets?

Fri, 01 Feb 2013 15:47:24 -0800

If you see the Verge's review of the Nexus 10, they complain about Rdio which doesn't have a tablet interface yet the Verge's own app has this same problem. If any Verge writers are reading this, then how about being part of the solution instead of being part of the problem and doing nothing about it? I think more and more developers are starting to build tablet specific apps or making their apps scale to tablets well, on the back of the Nexus tablets being so successful.

I can confidently say that (compared to maybe 6 months ago) on my Nexus 10, I have almost every app that I could possibly want which has a great tablet interface. Granted, I'd love to see more devs taking Android tablets seriously (especially in the games department), but I also feel that the Android tablet market has only just become serious with the Nexus 7 and Nexus 10.

EDIT: Some great comments here. I just want everyone to keep in mind that I'm not defending the shortage of tablet apps on Android. There are a great many already available but we're far from being spoilt for choice. My point is that it's funny that on every review, the Verge writers complain about the problem while being part of the very same problem.

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Perfume Expert Reviews Cheap Scents

I started a blog where I review the best selling book of every year, starting a century ago.

Mon, 11 Feb 2013 11:26:01 -0800

Using the Publishers Weekly annual bestsellers list, I'm going to read/review the bestselling novel of every year, starting with 1913. I plan to add a new review every monday, with occasional links and short essays in between. I'd love some feedback from my fellow reddit bookworms.

Link to the blog

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